Diagnosis? N.F.I.

Nequissimum Et Periurum Caput


One of our new ECPs – a pompous, arrogant buffoon

The following was related to me by one of my EMT colleagues recently.

Cast of characters:
ECP: a former senior manager who’s been shunted sideways so many times that he should have got the hint by now, but has failed to do the honourable thing. Recently qualified as an ECP he’s been back on the road about 2 months but has probably spent most of that time hiding in an office pretending to be someone important.

EMT: My colleague, a very capable EMT of 2 years standing.

Manager: A current senior manager with the service who’s A&E qualification is as an EMT.

The Scene: A small(ish) room, within which lies a large, elderly male; unconscious and sprawled awkwardly across the floor.

The EMT arrived first on the RRV (rapid response vehicle) closely backed up by the ECP and the manager. Having identified that the patient was in cardiac arrest it became imperative that they move him into a position that would enable them to commence CPR. The ECP was positioned at the patient’s head with the EMT at his hips. The EMT moved the patient’s arm ready for the ECP to assist with lifting the patient. As he lifted the arm it was apparent that the patient was lying in a large pool of his own faeces and urine and his upper body was drenched.

ECP: “I’m not lifting him in that state. I’m an ECP now, this is a tech’s job. You come here and lift him.”
EMT: “Give over (I think the original was f**k off). You’re there so get on and lift.”
ECP: “You can’t talk to me like that, I’m an ECP.”
EMT: “Well I just have so get on and lift.”
ECP: (turning to the manager) “You’re only a tech, you come here and lift him.”
Man: “Just get on with lifting and stop moaning.”

Sadly, this is the sort of arrogant nonsense that staff are experiencing from ECPs all over the county. One station in particular has a whole host of these ‘superstars‘ who are superior to the rest of us. You know the ones: they wear their underpants on the outside of their trousers and have a big ‘S’ on their shirts.


Nequissimum et periurum caput: roughly translates as ‘Utter dregs and dross of a man’ according to “How to Insult, Abuse & Insinuate in Classical Latin” by Michelle Lovric & Nikiforos Doxiadis Mardas.