Can ya give me a lift home guv?
Anyone who’s done this job for a while will have string of ‘regulars‘; those callers who are forever requesting an ambulance for all sorts of ‘spurious’ ailments. They’re mostly a motley crew; alcoholics, druggies, personality disorders, depressives, people with mental health issues, etc. We know them; the hospitals know them; and perhaps, if we’re honest, we don’t treat them as well as we should. Of course some are a right pain-in-the-arse. One of our ‘regulars’ even has an ASBO for calling out the emergency services, particularly the ambulance, and then being verbally and physically abusive when we show up. Can’t say I’m sorry not to have her on the back of the bus any more. We also have another who’s been a ‘regular’ for over 15 years. He’s harmless; he’s an alcoholic, and a right pain-in-the butt to be sure but, when all’s said and done, he’s never been abusive; doesn’t swear, doesn’t lash out and just acts the ‘little lost boy’ when it’s all going wrong. Sometimes we take him in, sometimes we don’t. One thing we never do though is give him a lift home when he been ‘out-on-the-lash’: he’d catch on to that one pretty quickly.
It therefore came as some surprise to all of us on station to find out he was up on a charge of ‘assault’: and not just any old assault, an assault on an ambulance man no less? WTF? Are we talking about the same Harry? Surely not?
Seems we are; though the details are sketchy. A fairly new recruit, from another station – with a reputation for being a bit ‘full of himself’ – attended Harry for the first time. I guess if you don’t know him, Harry can seem a bit ‘odd’. Anyway the story goes that Newbie went into Harry’s house alone and found him sitting on the sofa (as he usually is when he’s at home. Goodness knows if he ever goes to bed). Newbie claims that Harry ‘feigned unconsciousness’ so he decided to stuff an OP airway down Harry’s throat. Next he claims he turned his back to get something out of his para-bag and Harry ‘thumped him one’. No witnesses; just his word against Harry’s. Harry told us later he couldn’t remember the incident. Newbie’s crew mate was out in the ambulance at the time and “knows nuffin’ “ and won’t get involved.
So Harry had to go to court. Whether this was a private prosecution or one ‘sponsored’ by the service we haven’t been able to find out. Newbie clammed up ‘good and proper’ when a colleague confronted him
And the result? Harry pleaded guilty! Why, oh why, oh why, did he have to do that? Just about every member of staff on the station said they’d have given a character reference in Harry’s defence if only they’d been asked. It’s been a real eye opener just how much we ‘love’ Harry. He might be a complete ‘waster’ but he’s our ‘waster’ so you lot leave him alone.
Needless to say Newbie is off everyone’s Christmas card list. We’re just waiting for him to f**k up big time: then we’re gonna take revenge on Harry’s behalf.